Growing Old is Not for Sissies!

Let me preface this by saying that 54 years of age is not and should not be old!

But in the past several months, I have nagging little health issues that are probably a consequence of my younger days atop a horse. Specifically, I have nasty pain in both hips, pain in my right shoulder (probable rotator cuff) and female problems. Of course my back and knees are ongoing issues but I am pretty used to them.

I have been holding myself together trying to get my daughter “raised.” And she has been getting job interviews and I am hopeful something will come to fruition—and soon. I am so tired of trying to maintain a household on my crappy income—two people living on what really isn’t adequate for one person.

I have a perfectly good house and husband located two hours to the south of where I sit at this moment. Had I not moved up here to at least try to get good work for myself (and I define good work as work with benefits… which I have not gotten anywhere close to in 10 years of trying!) and live closer to several colleges, my daughter might well be married to some local guy, utterly dissatisfied with her life, living in a place with limited opportunities.

If she gets a job, I think it’s just fine if I choose to move back home; the limited work I do can be dome remotely, with maybe a trip to San Jose once a month, if that. I could also start dealing with my health issues, having what little income I can earn go toward co-pays and doctor bills. At any rate, I am hoping my daughter gets a job soon … now if only I could make her understand just how bad my hip pain is, and how it’s turning me into a hermit!

Jaded? Cynical? I Guess I Am …

Jaded: 1. fatigued by overwork : EXHAUSTED 2: made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit (jaded network viewers; jaded voters)
Cynical: 1. CAPTIOUS, PEEVISH 2: having or showing the attitude or temper of a cynic: as
a : contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives (those cynical men who say that democracy cannot be honest and efficient — F. D. Roosevelt)
b : based on or reflecting a belief that human conduct is motivated primarily by self-interest (a cynical ploy to win votes)

How has this bit of self-assessment come about?

While watching coverage of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan over the past couple of days, I could not help but notice the difference in behavior between the Japanese people and how Americans behave in time of disaster. Specifically, thus far I have not seen, heard or read a thing about widespread looting and vandalism anywhere in the affected areas. I vividly remember seeing news videos during Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath, including people openly stealing from stores—and not stealing food or other things one needs to live, but stealing televisions, electronics, pretty much anything not tied down. I remember that people affected by Katrina demanded that “the government” do something for them. I remember stories about FEMA queens demanding their government assistance, receiving debit cards intended to provide assistance in acquiring food and lodging, and using those federally-acquired funds to buy flat screen televisions and designer handbags.

I’ve not seen any of that behavior from the Japanese people. From the outside, it looks like many people heeded the tsunami warnings, and though I expect the death toll will be in the thousands, the fact that so many people did survive tells me they did not sit around waiting for the government to “do something” for them, specifically evacuation. No one expected the tsunami wave to reach 6 miles inland.

I am glad there are United States military assets able to help in search, rescue and recovery. That’s one reason to ensure our military is always at the ready for humanitarian missions. I expect the Japanese people will rebuild their nation quickly and efficiently, and find a way to improve things. I also expect that Japan does have the economic backbone to finance rebuilding efforts themselves.

Here comes my jaded, cynical attitude.

Why is it in time of natural disaster it’s expected that the United States pick up the pieces for every damn country that suffers a natural disaster or war? While Japan is indeed a reliable ally today, a little thing called Pearl Harbor and World War II is still an important piece of history and there are still people alive today who vividly remember these events.

It was the United States, or rather U.S. dollars, that rebuilt Japan. Japan’s economy is in much better shape than ours. We have millions of people who are un- or under-employed through no fault of their own, people whose unemployment “benefits” may be long gone or expiring soon. We have American citizens and families going hungry and without creature comforts that many others take for granted. But it’s not glamorous to talk about them, and it’s not glamorous to donate money or goods in our own nation. You don’t see celebrities making appeals for the regular American who may not have endured a natural disaster but who is enduring joblessness through no fault of his or her own.

Charities are of course popping up to help Japan in this time of crisis. However, I’d think that what is really needed are goods and services, provided by human beings, not money. Japan has the money; Japan can pay for those goods and services. American farmers certainly can produce what the Japanese people need, but it’s up to Japan to ask for what they need. A story on CNN revealed that there are food shortages, specifically rice, bottled water, fresh produce and bread. I think the United States produces those things in abundance and I’m sure the U.S. will be happy to provide those goods.

My second question is why the crappy behavior from Americans in time of disaster, a la Katrina or even times of civil unrest—why do Americans find it so easy to commit vandalism and thievery? They aren’t breaking into stores to steal food and water—they are taking physical goods. Those same Americans expect the government to “do something,” to fix whatever they think is wrong or unjust by giving them something. I’m sick of people being so non-self-efficient, and I look at how Japan is coping, and wish that Americans could be more like the Japanese.

I also wish that people residing in the United States, citizens and those here legally—people enjoying economic success and who are in a position to help Americans less fortunate would do so—but I suppose helping American citizens simply isn’t glamorous enough.

Why am I such a Negative Nelly? I really didn’t used to be this way. I want to believe that people are inherently good and honest, but the past ten years have taught me otherwise. Especially since late 2008, times have been very tough for others and myself. It seems that the ability to get good gainful work is a crapshoot and it’s a case of who you know and if you are lucky enough to run in a circle where cronyism is the way of doing things. It doesn’t matter if you are good at what you do, or know you could really rock a job, if given the chance. It hurts like hell to see people less qualified get that great job—and it hurts worse when racism is involved.

I am cynical and distrustful because of the job that community college district did to me. I purposefully grossly underbid my services in the hope—and with the promise from the chancellor herself—that my thoughtfulness and lack of greed would be rewarded by hiring me for the job once the district was able to budget for the full-time position. Once she’d hired someone else for the job, she didn’t even have the decency to speak to me about why I wasn’t awarded the job after doing the job for nearly two years—and doing that job well. Or at least I was told I was doing it well. So much for kindness and trust—where does that get you? Screwed over, I guess.

Same goes for the place I’ve provided editing services to for over ten years—I turn my work over quickly, I have not asked for a pay raise in 6 or 7 years, yet for some reason, I haven’t received any work from them since December. Why? One of my guesses is one of the usual over published, full-of-herself Ph.D.-educated authors doesn’t like for me to edit her work because I catch holes and biases in her research, so she’s made complaints and the new research director found it easier to sell me down the river as opposed to say to this researcher “Well, maybe she is right about errors in your stuff.”

Submitting resumes is an act of futility, but I guess I enjoy self-flagellation?

Being burned as much as I have, it’s pretty hard to see any good anywhere in humanity. Hence, I trust my cats more than pretty much any human right now!

This doesn’t mean I won’t continue to try to deliver a random act of kindness whenever I can—but I will stop believing that I will receive any kindness or consideration from others. Today I let an elderly Japanese woman cut in line ahead of me at Costco. She had an armful of foodstuffs; I had a full cart. Why make her stand behind me, I said to myself, and motioned for her to get in front of me. She said “Really?” and I replied, “Of course, why make you stand there? You go ahead of me!” Once she was done, she turned to me and with a huge smile offered her sincere thanks.

It’s just that easy to melt a jaded cynic’s heart, if only for a few seconds.

Captain Chelsey B. Sullenberger III—An American Hero

I have been thinking a lot about the actions of Captain Sullenberger the past couple of days. He's the US Airways pilot who safely landed an Airbus A320 passenger plane on the Hudson River after the plane's engines were disabled, probably by a flock of birds (or a couple well-placed Canada geese). Captain Sullenberger's cool thinking and knowledge of his airplane saved the lives of 150 people.

Captain Sullenberger is 57 years of age.

How many employers/industries would have tossed this man aside by now? Fortunately for those 150 people and their families, US Airways had the good sense to keep him around. Captain Sullenberger is a prime example of smarts, good military training and a personal interest in investigating aviation crashes and improving training for evacuating airplanes during an emergency.

I will repeat this until I am blue in the face: Older workers have so much to offer today's workplace, and today more than ever. With our economy in the toilet there is little time for people to learn on the job, even with the most impressive college credentials. The biotechnology industry is starting to whine about a shortage of qualified scientists—and of course bemoan the poor quality of education in the U.S. so there are few qualified scientists in the U.S. or in the pipeline. (Do you smell a plea for more guest worker visas?)

I know there are qualified older scientists out there who have been discarded in the name of "cost." I also know that in today's economic uncertain times, older workers do have the good sense to understand the need to bite the bullet and accept a somewhat lower wage than they are really worth. Why is it that employers believe that all older workers will demand too much in salary? Why is it okay to hire a younger worker at (presumably) a lesser salary, only to have to take the time to train that person? Wouldn't it be wiser to hire the older worker who is ready to hit the ground running?

Sadly, I don't see our incoming president select having the testes to take this on. Even though he himself is a "young" baby boomer, he doesn't seem to relate to this generation. By denying the talent that boomers do possess, he (and the rest of the U.S.) is missing out on a wonderful resource that could no doubt assist the nation out of the pickle we are in thanks to the Democratic Congress and the mortgage failure crap quagmire we are all caught in.

Finally ...worker's comp is doing something!

I heard from State Fund yesterday, and my file is at least in the hands of a utilization reviewer. Too bad my doctor is more qualified than any reviewer, but I digress. My file is also in the hands of a female adjuster who sounds a whole lot smarter than the last affirmative action beneficiary who had my file.

Now on to the not fun stuff. My contract was terminated by the community college district I'd been working for since the fall of 2005. I had been doing communications for this district, and doing a pretty darn good job. I was getting stuff placed in industry publications and to a lesser degree, in local medias. About six months into the job, in the spring of 2006, I was promised the full-time position (when it opened up and an official job description was created) by the chancellor of the two colleges and her assistant.

Last March I interviewed for the job. I showed up to the interview with a fever of 101 (something I'd never do for a normal job interview, but I felt my work spoke for itself), feeling like crap after working an event the previous three days that was produced by the district itself. My references weren't checked. Each were prepared to say I was the right person for the job.

In June I received a letter saying I did not get the job. In July, I received an e-mail from the chancellor asking me to fix a news release draft written by the person who did get the job, and who would be starting in the fall. I can usually edit/fix anything, but that blob of words was impossible. To this day I am not sure what the thing was supposed to be about.

The person who got the job was a Latina with a history of being fired/asked to resign from a pair of high-profile PR jobs due to incompetence.

Because of the budget crisis here in California, the community college district cut all independent contractor contracts. Now tell me this, why not keep someone who costs you $40 an hour (and worked maybe 80 hours a month) versus someone who costs the district $100K (salary and benefits) and that someone cannot do the job? One of my duties was to produce a monthly newsletter, which means figure out what to write, research/interview, obtain photos and ultimately do an 8-page layout using InDesign and Photoshop. Once I'd been told my contract was no more, I was asked to turn over the work I'd done thus far, which I did. It was all done in InDesign.

The "new" PR gal had a fit because she does not know how to use the program! She is also having a fit because I did not turn over notes to the stories I was going to do—because I had taken no notes!

She's in her mid-30s, I am not. I have had three prior back surgeries. I have an advanced degree; she does not. She has been the beneficiary of affirmative action all the way through school; I have not.

What I want to know is this: what plans does the messiah have for people like me? I have no recourse regarding the "job promise" because there is no way anyone is going to admit to having told me that. But why is it once a person is "in" they keep getting chance after chance based on ethnicity? Answers ... anyone?

so, Mr. President-elect, what job are you creating for me?

The LA Times has an article discussing how the messiah's economic aid plan will create 2.5 million new jobs by 2011. According to the article:

"The plan would include jobs rebuilding roads and bridges, improving schools and building alternative-energy technologies. Details are to be worked out in the weeks to come."

Does anyone else notice that each of these jobs require able-bodied people? So much for "creating jobs" for older people, or disabled people.

Actually those jobs don't need to be created, laws "protecting" us from discrimination due to age and disability need to be actually enforced, with it being easier for the wronged person to bring attention to the employer's prejudices. Even if age or disability discrimination remains hard to prove, perhaps if there was a nice fat file of continuing hiring prejudice with an employer, the authorities already in place would be able to do a bit more for people like me—good brains, abilities, and a desire to do a good job and to earn a living wage, but an inability to build a bridge ... or much of anything requiring an able body.

Someday I will talk about the perfect job that I actually did for 2 1/2 years as contract work, but when it came time to hire a permanent person with actual benefits, I was passed over for a 15-years-younger, less-qualified person of a non-white ethnicity. It is impossible for me to even initiate some sort of investigation as to why someone less qualified was given the job ... 

P.S. Going on two weeks of this back attack. Two more weeks until I see the doctor ... 

Fears

I suppose I should start talking about my fears for the United States (and my way of life) during the rule of the newly-elected messiah.

First, I am so distressed about people who say "this is the first time in a long time I am proud to be an American," or "I finally have hope." Listen, if things had been so terrible, if you'd been humiliated to be an American, there are other places you can go. Perhaps you should have gone there years ago. 

I do think it's funny that the term "liberal" is used when what being a liberal means is an anything goes attitude, except the government is telling you what goes. Liberal means more government in everyday life, legislating morality (and the ultra-conservative Repubs are just as bad, so I'm not blind to this) and telling us all what is acceptable to think and do. 

So here's today's concern: employment/labor & immigration

I'm a baby boomer who can't get full-time work. People in their 30s are picked before me, even though I have more education and most likely can do the job better than someone wet behind the ears. How many other boomers are in my situation? I know so many high-tech workers, smart people, eager and creative people, who remain unemployed while their former employers demand that more work visas be granted so they can fill jobs. What of the boomers you chose to fire because you felt their benefits were getting more expensive? It's more acceptable to import an unknown person so you can pay him/her less? Shame on the U.S. companies who have bought into this! Claiming qualified workers aren't readily available is as shameful as the outsourcing that's become so popular. Why isn't Big Brother looking out for the good of U.S. workers? I'm hoping against hope the messiah and his regime find a way to take away any advantages to these labor practices—higher taxes, tariffs for each foreign worker admitted into the U.S., and closer monitoring of those workers to make sure they do leave the U.S. when their visas are up. Oh and NO ANCHOR BABIES. That's always their way in.

There is an article in today's LA Times about how happy labor unions are with the messiah's election. They are salivating all over themselves, eager to unionize anything and everything. Look what unionization has done for American car makers—the product is not as good as a Japanese or German-built car (even if they are built somewhere in North America), and the U.S. product is certainly no value for the dollars you spend on it (though my 1998 Mustang with 162K miles is still going strong). And the government is considering bailing those automakers out, which really means that the unions can continue to extort dues from American workers.

I have worked in unionized jobs twice. I hated paying those dues, and in each case, the union did NOTHING for me. I looked for assistance as I kept suffering on-the-job injuries with the first job, and the union rep claimed there was nothing that could be done for me. Thanks for nothing! I sure could use that $200 a month in "dues" you took from me in the 1980s. 

I know of a family whose patriarch worked tirelessly for the United Farm Workers in the late 1960s into the 1980s. He alienated local growers who had previously hired him and his family. When he became too gravely disabled to work or even do union organizing, he filed for retirement—benefits he'd been paying for as a member of the UFW.

He was told he hadn't paid enough in to draw from the UFW's retirement program. Yet Cesar Chavez' family all live in very nice homes, driving late model cars. This man ended up on social security disability AND SSI—something he never expected to do, because he believed in the UFW and its retirement program.

The only people who benefitted from the UFW's union dues are Cesar Chavez and his descendants. I believe the only people who benefit from unions of any kind are the head honchos and the so-called organizers. Their check is in the mail. Where is yours?